Fresher’s Flu is not a myth. It is real. And it is painful.
1. It’s just a cold. I’m totally fine.
2. In fact, I’ve never felt better!
3. A night out? No problem! I’m not sick! I feel fine!
4. I… feel… fine…
5. I may vomit.
6. I need my bed.
7. I need my bed ASAP.
8. WHERE IS MY BED?
9. Is this what dying feels like?
10. I want to go home.
11. I’m not ready to live this independent life.
12. Mum? Can you come to uni and look after me?
13. If not, I’m dropping out. I’m serious.
14. The entire flat has contracted it now.
15. We’re doomed.
16. We’re all slowly dying.
17. I thought people were being weak when they talked about Freshers’ Flu.
18. But it is real. And it is happening.
19. And you know what? I’m ready to write my will.
20. I was dying earlier today, then I died, now I’m dead.
21. Will the suffering ever end?
22. Okay. I’m finally starting to feel more like a human.
23. Maybe I can make it to my lecture…
24. I immediately regret this decision.
25. I cannot function.
26. Everything hurts and I’m dying.
27. Oh god. I need to cough SO BAD.
28. BUT IT’S SO QUIET.
29. It hurts. IT HURTS.
30. *eyes streaming*
31. Back to bed I go.
32. Maybe I’ll just never be healthy again.
33. I just need to accept this new, lower standard of health.
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